What to Do About Sanjaya?

I gave up watching American Idol about . . . . let me see . . . . Oh, yeah that's right. I never watched it. I got my fill of "reality" programming very early on. All that contrived drama and creative editing of supposed live, unscripted video turned me off before Rudy discovered that Richard was gay. (don't recognize the reference? Google it.)

The media won't let me escape the day-to-day melodrama of what's going on in the "reality" world, however. Every day, I check in to TV "news casts" and I am faced, not only with what is going on in the "exciting" lives of the Faux and Pseudo Celebs, I am accosted with reports of who is on and off the island, who is dancing and who is not, and who is surviving, not only the island, but the barbs of Simon, the sexual advances of Paula, and the on line voting of the devoted fans. And don't even get me going on Super Nanny. My Mom could take her on her worst day, hands down.

Now, however, comes a real enigma. A young, "tone deaf" (according to Rosie O’Donnell) Idol contestant is totally baffling the judges, the world and even me with what is going on around him. Sanjaya is his name (real? I don't know). He is young, good looking in a teen idol with interesting hair sort of way and he can sing, albeit, not the best. In fact his singing, though well chosen and well timed, seems to be of such quality that the other judges have made derisive comments about it.

The enigma is not only why he is still hanging on in the competition, but that fact that he has fans, and they are a bit devoted to say the least. Sanjaya, Let's call him "sonny", is first the focus of a bit of a hoax on the judges and possibly the viewers of Idol. A web site, which has been supported by the views of Howard Stern, has decided to instigate an uprising, as it were, to keep the worst contestant alive on American Idol. That contestant as of late is our dear Sonny. Don't get me wrong. I have not problem with anything that messes with the substance of such shows. In fact, I think it's a great idea. So, Sonny is still in and still smiling his very big, almost Steven Tyler-ish smile, and still shaking that mane, and still singing just a bit off key. Good for him.

The hoax is one thing, but I just read a headline that says that a young girl is starving herself because of sonny. Why is she starving herself? Is she such a devoted fan, or does his singing bring about this effect? Granted he's not a great singer, but he's not bad enough that I would miss a meal over. Of course it would take another rendition of the Star Spangled Banner by Rosanne Barr to get me to miss a meal, and that would definitely do it. So I have to assume (there is it an ass of u and me) that this young girl is starving herself because she is a fan.

To quote Jerry Seinfeld, "what gives?" Sure he's young and I guess he could be considered cute to a young teen and pre-teen girl, though I must confess I’ve never been either. I will admit to my age group, and confess that I was around when the Beatles hit American shores. They were a phenomenon. Young girls went nuts. They too cried, screamed, and I’m sure a number of them missed a few meals due to their devotion to the Fab Four. I believe it was totally out of proportion to their talent, at least for the time. They turned out to be an undeniable major influence on music and will be for a long time to come, but that was not who hit the shores. They were four young lads with instruments, some “boppy” styled songs, and interesting haircuts.

Wait a minute. That’s got to be it. The hair. It’s not the talent, or even the lack thereof. It’s not so much the cuteness. Ringo and George were not that cute. It’s got to be the hair. Take a Sanjaya, a Beatle, or even a gray haired hick, and give him a crew cut and what do you have? You’ve got nothing. No Idol contender, No British Invasion, No “Soul Patrol”, and definitely No weeping and/or starving fans. You’d just have a goofy looking punk who can’t sing that good.

I say, get rid of that hair! Maybe we should start a web site, not encouraging people to keep a less than deserving contestant on American Idol, but one that encourages shaving of all contestants heads. And while we're at it, why not Simon, and Paula, too. And some duck tape over Simon's mouth. Yeah, that's it.

What do you think?