Well, I'm sitting and waiting in a hospital again. I didn't realize it until a few minutes ago. Actuall I did know where I was, it just didn't hit home. Gayle, my wife is having an upper gastroscopy today. It is purely precautionary. No more. But while she's in there, I have to sit in the waiting rooms, and go to the cafeteria, and see the sights, hear the sounds, and smell the smells. It took a little bit, but the ugly feeling that was growing finally hit me. I've had enough of hospitals for a while. I know there are some of you who would feel the same.
Two exhausting weeks with my Dad last May, which slowly, but eventually turned out well, and 6 brutal weeks with my mother-in-law in October and November which turned out horribly sort of puts a different spin on it. I used to be able to go to hospitals--walk through them and keep mostly oblivious. Not any more. I hear the words of the health care professionals. I can read their body language. I overhear the conversations of those around me and hear their phone calls. I know the tones of their voices. I recognize those looks on their faces. This is not the same hospital as before, but honestly, they are all the same.
If you want to know where people are hurting and being slammed by what life can truly throw at them, come and spend some time in a hospital. Sit and really look around--really listen. But maybe you can't unless you've walked the path that they have walked before. I now can, because I have. I'm sure Jesus is here somewhere. I feel that I should want to try to find him--to stay and work with him, but all I want is for the test to be over so I can collect my lovely wife and in the immortal words of the Monty Python troupe, "run away, run away." Maybe later I can handle it. Maybe after more time has passed I can stay and care, but this is too soon.
They gave me a buzzer like they use at restaurants to let me know when she is out of her test. When that sucker goes off, we're outta here like birds heading south out of Minnesota in the fall.
Smart birds.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
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