When In college, I played the part of Snoopy in the Musical, You're a Good Man Charlie Brown. To quote a line from Snoopy, "I hate cats! To me, cats are the crabgrass on the lawn of life. I am a cat hater, a cat despiser, and a cat loather." I may not go so far as my stage persona did, but I am really not a fan of cats. Many people agree, but others ask why. Here is reason number one.
Many years ago, I got a new fishing reel in early spring while living in Northern Minnesota. The ice was still on the lakes, and since this was a "bait casting" reel I needed to practice to avoid getting a backlash every time I cast and embarrassing myself in front of my fishing buddies. I tried some practice casting in the yard. Our cat thought I was doing this for her pleasure as she would chase the practice lure back and forth while I cast and retrieved it. The yard was small and scattered with trees, so I walked the one block to the small lake down the street. Yes, it was still frozen but lacking all obstacles that my yard presented I could cast better and farther. As with many Minnesota lakes in very early spring, there was about a one to two foot width of open water between the shore and the edge of the ice.
Many years ago, I got a new fishing reel in early spring while living in Northern Minnesota. The ice was still on the lakes, and since this was a "bait casting" reel I needed to practice to avoid getting a backlash every time I cast and embarrassing myself in front of my fishing buddies. I tried some practice casting in the yard. Our cat thought I was doing this for her pleasure as she would chase the practice lure back and forth while I cast and retrieved it. The yard was small and scattered with trees, so I walked the one block to the small lake down the street. Yes, it was still frozen but lacking all obstacles that my yard presented I could cast better and farther. As with many Minnesota lakes in very early spring, there was about a one to two foot width of open water between the shore and the edge of the ice.
Unbeknownst to me, the cat had followed me and her toy to the lake. As I noticed her presence, I could see she wanted to chase the lure as I practiced casting, but was deterred by the water.
Finally, she could resist the temptation no longer and lunged toward the flying object. Sploosh! She not only hit the near freezing water, but sunk to the bottom. The water was shallow, but deep enough to totally submerge her completely. She, in a panic sprung off the bottom and out of the water, only to find herself sure footed, but on the ice side of the water. A wet, panicked and disgusted cat can take on a look that is indescribable.
Now that she was on the ice, she realized that she needed to be on shore. Not knowing what else to do, she lunged once again, not getting good traction on her launch and, once again took a polar dip in the water. She came up with an even worse look on her face and howls of annoyance to accompany it.
Feeling sorry for her, I picked her up, protected her from the elements the best I could and took her home to dry her off and get her warm.
I look back on this as being one of the funniest things I have ever witnessed. So, why, you may ask, would I use this to illustrate the fact that I hate cats?
Simply, because the little ingrate, acted like the whole thing was my fault, and she never let me forget it. Why not? She was, after all, a female.
It wasn't my fault!
I hate cats.
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